


a proper identity crisis

by ManuHerz79



Category: Lucifer (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Deckerstar freeform, Established Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, F/M, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humor, Luci and Amen are two big Dorks, mentions of Avengers (Movie), mentions of Supernatural (TV), mentions of X-Man (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27118999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManuHerz79/pseuds/ManuHerz79
Summary: On Halloween it's all about the perfect custome, isn't it?
Relationships: Amenadiel & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Amenadiel & Mazikeen (Lucifer TV), Chloe Decker & Mazikeen, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Mazikeen & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar, Trixie Espinoza & Mazikeen
Comments: 16
Kudos: 84





	a proper identity crisis

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and happy Halloween, Lucifans!  
> I wrote this little oneshot to enterain, at least, some of you as good as I can.  
> If this short story makes you laugh or smile, I totally reached my goal with it.  
> Have fun, while reading, but beware - English isn't my first language and I didn't have a beta for checking, so... I apologize in advance.  
> Stay healthy, take care and wear a mask.  
> Sending hugs.

**********

"And you promise to take pics? For me? You really will?" Trixie's voice sounded almost tearful. She shifted from one foot to the other, exuding very unhappy vibes. The lighting from the street lamp above her bathed the black suit she was wearing in a pale light.

"Sure."

"A lot?"

"Yup." Maze gave the girl an airy thumbs up. She was sitting behind the steering wheel of a vintage and very stylish looking car.

Trixie pressed further. “Maze, I do want pics from all of you. From Ella too."

"Roger."

"Yeah… you’re saying that now, but, what if you forget about it, the minute you... "

"Monkey." Chloe leaned out through the open window on the passenger seat next to Maze, interrupting the pleading tirade of her daughter. "I promise, we will take a lot of pics, alright?" She reached out a hand towards Trixie in an attempt to sooth her, but the girl simply ignored her mother's outstretched fingers and just raised her eyebrows suspiciously. The Detective sighed quietly. Her baby had somehow grown into a teenager. It had happened almost overnight and since then, public displays of love were a completely no-go. She pulled her arm back again.

Maze moved a little closer to Chloe and the lowered window. "She could still come with us," she suggested.

Trixie's eyes lit up.

"Maze," Chloe stated slightly threatening, without casting the demon a look. Her gaze lingered on her displeased daughter. "Not happening."

As expected, Trixie’s face darkened in an instant. "But, Mooom...," she started again.

This time Lucifer's voice, coming from the back of the car, stopped her right away. "Never, Offspring. Just imagine all of these drugs, the booze, the sex..."

"Lucifer, shush," Chloe hissed.

“But, Detective! I’m stating the simple truth. Booze will be poured, Molly’s will be consumed, inhibitions will decrease, blow jobs will happ-"

"Luci!" Amenadiel, who’s sitting next to his brother in the back seat, smashed one hand over the filthy devilish mouth and silenced him immediately.

"Grmphh," Lucifer protested. He slapped at the angel's fingers angrily.

Chloe spun around. "What’s gotten into you, Lucifer? One more word and you 'll join Linda and Charly on their first trick or treating tonight, are we clear?" She raised her index finger to visually point out her words, as she meant each one of them very serious. If she had to throw the Devil out of the car to teach him a lesson, then she would do it.

"Hmmph." Chloe’s diabolical boyfriend crossed his arms in front of his chest in an insulted manner, but he made no further attempt to say anything.

Amenadiel eyed Lucifer from the side. On a short nod from Chloe, he pulled his hand back. Very slowly.

" _Bloody trick or treating… LUX is mine after all… as I would endure such thing… hordes of small parasites…_ " 

Lucifer's barely audible murmured words made Trixie and Maze giggle.

Chloe decided to ignore Beelzebub himself and turned back to her daughter. "Monkey, parties at LUX are only for adults, even Halloween one’s. You do know that. I don’t want any further discussions about it, do you hear me? "

"Ye-es, Mom."

Trixie’s answer came a bit more defiantly, than Chloe liked, so she added: "You’ve been looking forward to your own party with your school friends for weeks now, am I right? You’ve matching costume as well and you can send us many photos too. I’m so curious how everyone looks like."

"Yeaah... o-okay... right." Trixie sounded at least a bit happier. "I'll set up a new WhatsApp group for tonight! How’s this, huh? _Halloweenie’s_! I add all of us and we all could post our pics there. Ashley and Sookie want to see, what’s going on at LUX anyhow!" She pranced back and forth, her excitement back in a flash. "You and Maze are wearing the same costumes like they do."

"Great idea, Monkey." Chloe gazed lovingly at her daughter and smiled. "You look so great." 

Trixie’s deep-black suit, along with the blood-red shirt fitted really amazing for a girl at her age. The short-haired wig and the painted stubble on her face gave her some extra rascal touch.

“But you too, you all look just great! Especially him." Trixie grinned at her mother and gestured towards Lucifer.

Chloe could only agree. The former ruler of Hell looked gorgeous today. She peeped at him in the side mirror of the car. The light coat he was wearing literally shone in the dark and these ridiculous blue contact-lenses looked astonishing well on him. Their colour reminded her of the sudden fiery glow of his eyes, each time she was about to take her bra off and...

The sudden bubbling noise of an engine starting, interrupted Chloe's thoughts, which had turned G-rated, much to her embarrassment. She cleared her throat to hide the precipitate blush creeping up her neck and opened her mouth, to tell Trixie something important. Her daughter had stepped back from the car and the Detective leaned out the window again, to make herself heard. "Dan will pick you up in half an hour here at Linda’s and he will drive you to Sookie’s place, okay?" she called. "Don’t eat too much candy or pizza, don’t drink any funny smelling punch someone’s offering, watch out foooooooor… Maaaaaze!!!!" Chloe's motherly advices abruptly turned into a high-pitched shriek, as the Demon at her side pushed down on the gas hard and the car practically jumped forward. The engine of the Oldtimer howled miserable, while the Detective tried to get a grip on something, to secure herself. Her eyes flew to the rearview mirror and she could see Trixie already trailing back to Linda’s house, laughing. The car speed up more and more. Chloe got pushed back into her seat. "Are you insane?" she gasped in Maze’s direction.

"Wazzup?"

"What... _what’s up_? You are up! You’re just driving off like a lunatic, while I was still talking to... "

“Oh, come on, Decker! Trix has heard ‘bout that shit a thousand times already."

"In fact, I have to agree with Maze, Detective," Lucifer added his own opinion without being asked. "This encounter had to be cut short. Party time ahead and all of that."

Chloe gritted her teeth. "Lucifer, I swear, if..."

“Now, now, Detective. I suggest you shouldn’t swear unnecessary oaths, if you aren’t entirely serious about it. So, for the sake of... "

"Luci, stop it." Amenadiel’s low voice cut off the flirty attempts of his brother, which earned him a very ungracious reaction.

"You’re interrupting me for the second time now, since we’re sitting in this car, is there some sort of infamous intention behind your doing?" Lucifer sounded clearly annoyed.

" _Intention_?" Amenadiel narrowed his eyes. "Of, course there is _intention_ behind this. You’re babbling nonsense all day. I finally reached my limit to tolerate any of this."

"Oh, is that so?", Lucifer pressed through clenched teeth.

"Indeed, it is," Amenadiel snapped.

Lucifer eyes travelled up and down on his brother. He raised a brow. "Is this about that ridiculous costume sitch again? Hm?"

The Angel exploded. "You knew that I’m not familiar with this strange show and yet, you talked me into wearing these... these bedraggled clothes!" He tugged at his shabby, oversized jeans. "I already had the perfect Halloween costume. I bought it weeks ago!"

"The Hellspawn had wished for matching outfits as a group, so - _voila_ ", Lucifer gestured with one hand, including all occupants in the car, "here we are, a group of supernatural show stars. There aren’t any individuals left, when it comes to matching outfits."

"But I spent a lot of money on it."

"What a pitty, brother."

"But I…"

"Amenadiel. Even if the Spawn wouldn’t have demanded her wishes, your chosen costume doesn’t fit you anyway, by all means."

Chloe rolled her eyes. Not that again.

"Oho, what a serious judgment from a qualified person, Luci," roared the Angel.

"Exactely. I've watched this show far more times than you ever have, which had been… _none_? So, I reassure you, you should trust my evaluation."

"Oh, yeah? I'm more likely to believe, that you just wanted to steal my idea, Brother!"

"That’s preposterous," Lucifer huffed.

"Is it? So, tell me, why did you set Dan on, on me? To find out where I bought my costume, admit it!"

Lucifer gasped for words. "I... I... I... I did not hire Detective Douche to spy on you," he stammered.

"Then what’s this really all about?"

"The Spawn whished for a group theme, with matching costumes…"

"Lucifer!" Amenadiel literally barked at his brother.

"But it’s true. Family business and such... saving people..."

"Lucifer! Out with it!"

"I... I... oh, bloody hell, you asked for it…," Lucifer took a deep breath, " _I am Iron Man_!" he blurted out.

"Yeaaah, right... this sounds like a proper identity crisis, Luci. I thought you’re", Amenadiel tried to mimic his brother's accent, "Lucifer _bloody_ Morningstar. Not _Iron Man_."

"Identity... I certainly have nothing of that sort!"

"No?"

"No! However, what I actually tried to say, "Lucifer fumbled with the lapels of his coat, "if one of us could dress up as _Iron Man,_ then it would be me. Definitely."

"I knew it", the Angel grumbled.

Chloe glanced at Maze, but the Demon only shrugged and grinned. "Guys, come on. You’re acting childish", the Detective tried to stop them both, before things would go down, but her appeal simply went unheard. As so often.

"Iwould have made a perfect _Iron Man_ ," exclaimed Lucifer. "Not you."

"How can you even say that, Luci!"

"Because it's just obvious! I mean, I’m incredibly rich, indecently handsome, indescribably intelligent…"

"...and disturbingly hedonistic, Brother."

"That’s only your opinion."

Maze opened her mouth to throw herself into this fascinating brotherly conversation, but Chloe slapped her thigh. 

"Please, don't make it worse," the Detective whispered towards her.

"You are no _Iron Man,_ " scolded Amenadiel, while pointing at his brother. "Of all the _Avengers_... for Heaven’s sake... you're definitely _Thor_! You just don't want to admit it, Luci!"

"That’s disgusting! I’ve nothing in common with that imbecile, coarse, beer-gurgling, ludicrous version of a God! "Lucifer straightened his back. " _I am Iron Man_!"

"No way! _I am Iron Man_!" Amenadiel straightened himself too.

"Well, who’s sounding like he’s having a proper identity crisis now, hm, Brother?"

"Guys..." Chloe tried again, but was ignored like before.

"Nope. No identitiy crisis. _Iron Man_!" Amenadiel gazed straight ahead, clearly avoiding to look at his younger brother.

Lucifer chuckled in disbelieving amusement. "You are nothing alike!"

"I have money." Amenadiel gritted his teeth. "I'm just as intelligent as he is", he overheard the loud coughing coming from the driver's seat, "handsome", he ignored Lucifer’s huffed out giggle, "self-confident..."

"Ridiculous!" Lucifer couldn’t help himself and interrupted his brother, before he could go on with his list.

"Nothing about that is ridiculous," Amenadiel snorted angrily.

Lucifer gestured up and down on his brother. "But you don’t drink and nooo," Amenadiel had opened his mouth, as if to protest, but Lucifer won’t let him, "that girly-stuff you’re normally consuming does not count in the slightest… you know nothing about technologies and what’s most important of all," he lifted his chin, "you’re not the one with the pretty blonde girlfriend. You aren’t even in any kind of relationship." This final _coup de grace_ had been placed perfectly and he smirked, very pleased with himself.

"I... I... I..." Amenadiel tried to defend himself, but he broke off.

"Right?" Lucifer beamed at his brother, happy because of his finally achieved victory. But, at least he was a generous Devil, so he went on further. " _Hulk,_ on the other hand, would suit you perfectly."

"That wrathful, angry, green monster? You can’t be serious, Luci! " Amenadiel's eyes widened.

"Of course, I’m serious. Aside from this hideous colouring he certainly is the strongest _Avenger_ , just as you are the strongest among us siblings... I mean... come, now. You surly get these similarities?"

"Oh, do I? Well, alright," Amenadiel narrowed his eyes. "So, let’s find some similarities between you and L _oki,_ how about that?"

Lucifer gasped. "How dare you!"

"No, how dare _you_!"

"Ohooo, how dare _you_ , you..."

"Guys!" Chloe shouted. Both brothers shut up immediately. She turned back to them, obviously upset. "Can we please stop talking about this stupid topic?"

"But, Detective..."

"But, Chloe..."

"No! End of discussion!" Chloe eyed them angrily. "How can this even be an issue at all?"

"Yup," Maze grinned. "Stop crying out loud like two giant babies."

"Oh, yeah? That’s coming from you, Maze," replied Amenadiel, offended, "even if you had whined about an hour over the fact, that you would have been rather dressed up as someone else?"

"I... I... well, I...", the Demon quickly glanced at Chloe and took a deep breath. "Trixie’s costume would have fitted me too, obviously. A demonic Lord of Hell... I mean, that’s _the_ thing for me, right?" She noticed Chloe’s frown. "Buuut, as there can’t be two _Crowley’s_ in our _Supernatural_ -group, I'm totally happy with this one." She nodded to her own words. To convince herself of their sincerity or to convince the others, who knew.

"Right," Chloe added. "Trixie really tried hard to choose the best group theme for this evening. And she tried even harder, to give you all the perfect fitting roles. I think, she did great."

"And yet, parts of this strange _Supernatural_ -group aren’t even on the same party," grumbled Amenadiel.

"Yes, but we had been able to take a pic together before we separated," Chloe sighed, "and Ella and Dan are coming to the party at LUX as well." She rubbed her forehead. Some days it felt like she was the only responsible adult here and...

"I don't know what’s your ultimate problem, Brother. I explained exactly which costume the Hellspawn had chosen for you and even if you won’t see it, it fits you far better than _Iron Man_."

Chloe scratched her previous thoughts. She actually was the onlyadult here. Every damn day.

"But I haven't even watched this show for once, "Amenadiel whined. "How am I supposed to be comfortable with my costume, if I don’t even know who – the Hell – I am?"

"First, we know who you are. And second, if you could manage to listen properly every now and then, you wouldn't have to constantly... "

"Guys." Chloe's voice came out freezing cold. "What did I tell you before?"

" _Before_ had been a minor arguing about the _Avengers_ , Detective, keep up. Now it's all about _Supernatural_ and the general stubbornness of this winged... "

"Lucifer!" snapped Chloe.

"I'm not stubborn," protested Amenadiel. "I simply would like to know about a few facts, that’s all. Like, for example, about the reason why you grabbed yourself the costume of the only angel in the show."

"Well,… because it suits me perfectly, that’s why and he isn’t the only angel in this show. There are a few others. Meaningless others, of course, but…"

"How typical."

"Nothing here is _typical,_ " Lucifer huffed.

"Of course, it is! You’re so selfish!"

"Absolutely, why not? It’s all about making the good deals with the Devil."

"You are incredible, Luci!"

"Oh, I know! The Detective and I, _we_ certainly are... "

"I didn’t mean it as a compliment!"

"No?"

Chloe gave Maze a meaningful pat and signalized her to end this silly quarrel. She hadn't been successful in the first place, but maybe Hell’s greatest Torturer’ would.

Maze cleared her throat. "Uhm... I have to agree with Lucifer, big Guy, " she said and sought out Amenadiel’s eyes in the rearview mirror. "This costume works awesome for you. Totally."

The Angel looked back at her, raising a brow.

"Now, there you are, Brother." Lucifer poked with his finger in the thigh next to him. "Even Maze agrees." Satisfied, he tugged at the lapels of his long coat.

The Demon nodded. "Yup, you’re the perfect wise, empathic, amazing friend-type." She honestly smiled at Amenadiel and he couldn't help, but smile back at her.

"Alright," the Angel mumbled. "Maybe that’s true. But… who on Earth am I?"

" _Bobby,_ " came the collective answer.

"And this... _Bobby_... is...?" Amenadiel dared to ask further.

"A beloved and very popular fatherly figure in the show," Chloe replied quickly, before the other two could say anything stupid.

"And Lucifer’s costume… he is... who?" The Angel obviously needed more facts.

This time, Maze beat Chloe to it. "Lucifer is the perfect _Castiel_. Pretty, clumsy, can't handle his feelings... "

"Okay!" Chloe shouted, before Lucifer could protest. She had to end that whole thing right here and now, once and for all. "We’re all dressed up in fitting costumes, okay? Can we, please, finally agree on this and stop it?"

Lucifer made an offended sound. " _Au contraire_ , Detective. These things can't be debated long enough, and while we're right at it... I, personally, would have liked to see you in Maze’s costume. "

"What... but, why?" Chloe asked confused and looked down at herself. "We’re both wearing almost the same outfit." She shook her head. Jeans, plaid shirts, simple jackets. What did he mean by that? There wasn’t anything sexy or promiscuous about her or Maze’s clothes.

Maze giggled. "You're dressed up as the wrong brother, Decker." She reached out to tug at a strand of Chloe's wig. The dark-brown hair almost fell down to her shoulders.

"What?"

"Come on, you’ve seen the show." Maze grinned.

"I have, true, but I still don't quite understand..."

"Detective, " Lucifer slid forward and tapped on Chloe’s shoulder, "it's an unspoken but natural law of _Supernatural_. " He took a dramatically breath. " _Castiel_ and _Dean_ belong together. Just like we do." He chuckled happily.

"But, why… wait, _what_?"

Maze sighed. "Come on, Decker. This trench-coated angel and that green-eyed hot guy have something going on. Even if the show runners never included any sex scenes. Not even a single fiery kiss during… how much... 30 seasons? Lame, somehow, if you ask me."

"15 seasons, Maze," corrected Lucifer. He leaned closer to Chloe’s neck and gently sniffed at her. "Detective, it's true. The older _Winchester_ is obviously the love interestof this outrageously handsome angel. " His fingers reached for her false hair and swept it aside, before his lips started to trail over her neck. "Therefore, you have to be my _Dean_ ", he mumbled between kisses, "not ..."

"No way, Lucifer!" Maze interrupted him rudely. "I couldn’t be _Crowley_ , because Trix wanted to dress up as him, so I have to be _Dean_!"

"What... what’s wrong with _Sam_?" croaked Chloe, who tried to suppress the increasing feelings Lucifer’s kissing caused.

"He's boring," Maze answered. "Nice." She grimaced. 

"But hadn’t he been Lucifer’s true vessel and didn’t he…"

Lucifer chuckled. "Ah, Detective, just one single word and you could always be _my_ …"

"Shut up, Satan, " Maze’s angry voice cut him off. She glanced at Chloe. " _Dean_ and me, we are like… like… we have things in common, ya’ know? He drinks booze, likes pie, is tough, really good looking and… and he drives this special _Baby_." Tenderly, she petted the wheel. "Besides, this short, blonde hair looks much better on me. I almost look like _Storm_."

"Who is _Storm?_ "Amenadiel made himself heard.

Maze snorted. "I'm not going to explain that to you now."

"Wow, Maze. Rude. Can you at least tell me what’s so special about this car?"

"It's a Chevrolet Impala from 1967," she replied in an instant. "In a perfect condition."

"Oookay." Amenadiel didn’t sound very impressed. "Did you rent it, Luci? Hopefully you didn’t, as Maze... "

"He bought it, okay? Don't wet yourself in your skanky jeans, "Maze snapped.

Amenadiel tugged at the dirty baseball cap, he was wearing. "Great Heaven’s, don't bite my head off," he snapped back, clearly offended. "Luci, are my jeans skanky?"

But Lucifer paid them no attention, he pursued his own goals. "Detective, you could switch roles with Maze anytime. A quick wig ex-change, Maze hands you over this divine amulet she’s wearing and... "

Maze punched the wheel. Lucifer gasped and Chloe flinched.

"Nah! I am and will be _Dean_ and that's it! No _Crowley_ , so - _Dean_!"

Lucifer breathed another quick kiss in Chloe's neck before he leaned back again to glare at Maze out of his unnaturally bright blue eyes. " _Rowena_ would have been just as suitable for you, you only had been too..."

"Stop it, Lucifer! I am many things, but I’m no witch! Especially not a scottish one!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that! This stubborn Ginger and you, you’re having much in common."

"Is that so?" Maze practically hissed.

"Indeed, it is! Your tendency to disloyalty, for example, or... "

"Hey!" Maze shouted.

"Well, the truth hurts, doesn't it?" Lucifer pointed an accusingly finger towards the driver's seat.

Maze narrowed her eyes. "The truth? So, listen to _this_ truth... Amenadiel’s right! Even if you don’t want to hear it!"

"Maze", Chloe breathed, startled, but the Demon didn’t stop.

"You're no _Iron Man,_ " Maze snarled. "You’re... obviously... _Thor_! As much as you enjoy that fluttery trenchcoat, you could have worn a cape and picked up a hammer in the first place!"

"I. Am. Not. _Thor_!", Lucifer shouted.

"Nah", Maze eyes lit up viciously, "right. If I think it through, you would be an even better S _tar Lord._ "

"I beg your pardon?" Lucifer's voice almost cracked, which caused Chloe to reach back and to capture his arm.

"Don't let her wind you up, Babe," she tried to soothe him. Lucifer grabbed her fingers automatically and squeezed them with his own. His eyes flew to Chloe’s face. She smiled at him. He looked so adorable cute with his messy hair, his blue contact lenses and that trenchcoat. Her smile slowly widened and he melted. Like he always did.

"Detective," he breathed in a husky voice and in a too sudden change of mood. Chloe’s cheek flushed red. "Tonight, " he continued, "the _Supernatural_ fandomwill beshaken to the core. People are going to witness how _Castiel_ will kiss this boring _Sam Winchester_ in the most indecent manner. They... "

"But, guys, who am _I again_?" Amenadiel’s pleading stopped the seductive voice of his brother.

" _Bobby_!" Three voices yelled in unison.

"O-okay." The Angel raised both hands.

Lucifer sighed. Inevitably, he turned his attention back to his brother. "Please keep up, Amenadiel. "It’s _Bobby_ ", he enunciated, while he still caressed Chloe's hand. "And… to practise this too… what is it, dear old Bobby says all the time? Well?" Lucifer prompted.

Amenadiel frowned.

"Come now, we practiced that, Brother… remember… "

"B-b-b-o..." Amenadiel tried.

"Yes… do continue…" Lucifer encouraged him.

"B-b-ollocks?"

"Balls!" Lucifer threw his hands in the air. "Balls, not bollocks. I can't believe it, Brother!"

"How am I supposed to remember anything, if I never watched this show..."

"Yes, yes… bloody Hell! We’re already aware of this tiny detail. "

"It's true and it’s no tiny detail," muttered Amenadiel into the false beard he was wearing.

"You are such a child."

"You’re a child, Luci."

"How dare you!"

"No, how dare _you_!"

"Oh, no, how dare _you,_ you..."

" _Fuck,_ this is getting annoying _,_ " snorted Maze. She reached out and switched the radio on.

Chloe sent her a grateful look. Music was a great idea, it would hopefully silence these two idiots.

The Demon grinned at the Detective before reaching out again, raising the volume to full force and kicking down the accelerator. The engine of the Impala roared furiously and the car speed forward, drifting round the next corner like they all would be chased by vampires, werewolves or other supernatural beings. The screeching of tires, Chloe's hysterical squeak and the surprised cries from the back seat were all swallowed by the deafening loud sounds of _Bob Seger’s_ ‚ _Ramblin‘Gamblin‘Man‘_.

Maze threw her head back and laughed.

Halloween’s crazy. She loved it.


End file.
